I was on an international flight Awesome Owl Reading Can Seriously Damage Your Ignorance Shirt with no wifi during the world series and learned the news when I landed in China. Similarly, our return flight was election day and we left China with Clinton ahead and landed on President Trump. I’m convinced the plane went down on the way there and every day since then has been hell. Nope, quantum immortality. Your plane did go down in a hugely infinite number of parallel dimensions, leaving only a small infinity of unlikely dimensions left to exist. You didn’t die, you just became much more unlikely.
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About a month before that I tried Awesome Owl Reading Can Seriously Damage Your Ignorance Shirts killing myself one night when I was drunk. I watched the Cubs win the WS and Trump win the presidency while in rehab. No one can convince me that I didn’t actually die and take up my doppelganger’s body from this universe. I miss the parallel universe I’m originally from. The Cubs won the World Series, Peyton Manning’s reanimated corpse somehow wins the Superbowl, Lebron Comes back down from 3-1 to win the NBA finals against the team with the best regular-season record of all time, and Leicester City won the PL, a once in a lifetime achievement that we may never see again in our lifetimes. One, if not, the most historical year in sports history.
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