This Ho Ho Holy Shit I’m Drunk It’s My Bestie’s Fault Shirt me of the time I guttered my car because the garbage truck left the neighbors bin right in the spot I’d usually just glide into my spot. I tried to jerk my car into place when I probably should’ve reversed. My tire exploded because that’s what happens when you try to drive like a dickhead. When someone either cuts me off or drives way to damn slow for road conditions. I had the combo today of a guy almost running me off the road and then drove 45 in a 55 for twenty miles. Fuck you red ford. Eat a dick and choke on it.
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I got out my car real calm, Ho Ho Holy Shit I’m Drunk It’s My Bestie’s Fault Shirt up the bin, and methodically kicked it straight back into the spot it should’ve been on with the force of 1000 suns. The neighbor had just moved in and walked out and silently bring their bin in like “yeah, I’d probably do the same tbh”. All speeds in km/h cause Canada. The speed limit is 60, I’m going 70, and pass a rusty van with a collapsed suspension doing 40. Fine. I go through an intersection. Road’s still 60, I’m still 70, but then this piece-of-shit van blows past me at 100 and cuts me off without signaling. Why?
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I dunno what city you live in….but I saw a Ho Ho Holy Shit I’m Drunk It’s My Bestie’s Fault Shirt here that rents out space and stuff and choice of smashing weapon. You can smash things like dishes, electronics, whatever junk they have. They have an acutely named rate for two called couples therapy. But anyway bet you can do this anywhere if you can find a space and are able to clean up after. Had a group of tourists doing that shit this summer (live in a beach town) and I just followed behind them at 2mph laying on the horn nonstop till they moved.
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