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I had a waiter at a restaurant tell me once about this Hot Unicorn Mom A Regular Mom Only Way More Magical Shirt weird married couple who would come in on dates and always split the bill in half and only pay for their portion. He said he knew they were married cos they were wearing rings. I suggested they might be married to other people.. and watched the light bulb moment happen haha. He just never clicked I guess! I had a couple of regulars at a restaurant I worked at doing this. They were married to one another but wanted both to earn points on their cards. A lot of times when split down the middle one would pay a penny more than the other. So they’d see whose card had the extra penny, and the “loser” got to buy them both desserts.

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They get excited and a bit happily competitive about Hot Unicorn Mom A Regular Mom Only Way More Magical Shirt. It was quite cute. The weirdest was these two guys who sat at the bar instead of a table and tried to kick ME out by asking. If I can leave the bar area because they want to have a private conversation. How about no, I’m polishing glasses for the evening rush for a convention. And I’m not standing in the middle of the fucking room. I said I’ll go stand at the far end of my bar and polish there. I wanted to say it’s probably trichomoniasis but also horrified that he was still having sex with her and probably contributing to making it even worse and causing some BV issues. That poor woman.

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