I Never Knew How Much Love My Heart Could Hold Til Someone Called Me Auntie Shirt

Your dad is the serial killer who died in a bus crash but I Never Knew How Much Love My Heart Could Hold Til Someone Called Me Auntie Shirt faked his death. And now has a hook hand and is working for your pseudo aunt who makes you play a weird Hunger Games-esque game where she tries to force you to kill you dad but she kills him first. Oh and the bad guy the whole season is the person who pretended to be your mom’s illegitimate. Lovechild between her. And your boyfriend’s dad but who actually killed your real love child half brother, but who is still alive. Even after your dad killed him for you, but now he has different colored hair to match your crazy pseudo aunt’s late son who killed himself after he found out his dad’s Maple Syrup business was a drug front.

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You and your boyfriend return home after an I Never Knew How Much Love My Heart Could Hold Til Someone Called Me Auntie Shirt day of near-death to hear a knock at your door. Who is this? Oh it’s your boyfriend’s and your’s parent’s illegitimate love child who you were told was dead, what could he want? Ah, normal stuff, he works for the FBI and is looking for your mom who recently went missing after you found and exposed the local cult leader last week for harvesting organs from his fellow cult members to both help ensure the survivor of his wife who poses as a high schooler who helps indoctrinate more children into the cult, but also to sell the organs for profit.

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Turns out she wasn’t being an I Never Knew How Much Love My Heart Could Hold Til Someone Called Me Auntie Shirt wearing cunt for no reason. She was actually going undercover for the FBI to investigate the cult, cause you know, the FBI often asks a towns single incredibly well-known journalist to go undercover to investigate the local organ harvesting cult. I’m sad it’s ending, but I don’t know how they managed to get this far using the same formula for so long. A new too-powerful-how-do-we-stop-it enemy revealed at end of the season. Spend most of the next season on single-arc episodes killing monsters, revisit main plot every few episodes, someone dies/is kidnapped/is in trouble. Rinse and repeat till the season ends, and the same formula next season. Most of it is enjoyable if you don’t peek behind the proverbial curtain.

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