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Also playing multiplayer with a single keyboard was the reason we got long fingers. May our necks are broke, our eyes strained, and power bills astronomically high. Man, that’s the exact fucking word I’ve been looking for to describe to my parents why my neck is in a hoop after years of gaming, fucking nerd neck. You’re a king. I’m surprised that Jesus The Original Essential Worker Shirt coffee table hasn’t collapsed. Those things were crazy heavy. It was probably made in the 80s when disposable furniture wasn’t a thing yet and things were built to last.

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My fragile IKEA entertainment center holds my even more fragile TCL flatscreen just fine thank you. The trick is to simply ignore the fact that I live on the San Andreas fault. I think this shit hurt my eyes too. Squinting for hours on end with little to no blinking. The good ole 4-way split-screen on a small 10-inch tv gifted from the grandparents. Except for the guy who kept track of where everyone else on his TV was. Fuck that guy. I always assumed that everyone was doing this, therefore so did I. The real problem was that Jesus The Original Essential Worker Shirt camo didn’t trigger the aim assist.

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Everyone was. Everyone was also simultaneously complaining about it, too. Sort of a good warm-up for what the real world is like if you think about it. There’s a game based on screen peeking. Called Screen Cheat. Everyone is invisible but all 4 players can see each other’s screens. You screen peek so figure out where they are. You could pretty easily replicate this in Halo by putting permanent active camo on everyone. We used to do that Jesus The Original Essential Worker Shirt in custom games, after a while you see the camo glimmer stick out like a sore thumb, but deffo makes headshots a lot harder.

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