Nice Elf Am I Rockin This Extra Chromosome Or What Shirt

Unpopular opinion: I really Nice Elf Am I Rockin This Extra Chromosome Or What Shirt no issue here. His feet look as clean as feet go, I doubt they stink as much as everyone implies. Really if he had shoes on or did that with his hands it is just as dirty but acceptable. Point of order: this isn’t trashy and doesn’t belong here. It is “rude”, but trashy is about something more. it’s about having a tattoo of your ex-girlfriend on a man boob. It’s about having 5 kids aged 3. It’s about having kids with so many women, you view the kids as theirs only. I don’t really get what makes this trashy? People barefoot are more common than you might think, and despite what the angle/Photoshop might tell you I don’t think the lady is currently breastfeeding, while there’s nothing wrong with that mind you. So for Christmas, my wife got her and me matching coffee thermoses.

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Hers was copper tinted, mine was Nice Elf Am I Rockin This Extra Chromosome Or What Shirt steel. apart from that, they were identical. I loved it! But after a while, being the absent-minded person that I am, mine goes missing. “No biggie”, I said to myself, “My wife is staying home today, I’ll just take her thermos to work.” So I fixed me up a nice thermos full of black coffee and headed out the door to work. This particular day was rather busy, and I had meetings back to back pretty much all morning. I had my thermos and laptop in tow and was migrating from one conference room to another when I realized I needed to run to the urination station. So I dropped off my laptop and thermos, ran and relieved myself, then stopped back by my cubical to pick up a couple of reports for the meeting. While sorting the papers at my desk, I reach over and grab for my thermos and take a big swig of coffee.

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Immediately, a few alarms and Nice Elf Am I Rockin This Extra Chromosome Or What Shirt went through my head. “This coffee got pretty cold pretty fast today…that’s odd. Also I don’t remember putting any cream or sugar in it this morning…that’s odd. Also, what is this texture? At this point, still mid-gulp, I shift my eyes down to the top of the thermos, which has a clear plastic lid, and I notice a very large floating blob of mold, which I had just taken a sizable chunk out of. Also, I notice the thermos is stainless steel, not copper-colored. This was my coffee that had been sitting on my computer desk, in plain sight, for a month. Oh no…I thought as I immediately reach for the trashcan to try and lurch the coffee back out, but to my disappointment, it would not come back up. So I run to the bathroom and try a full-on puking position to try and get it back up, again no luck. I just knew I was going to get deathly ill, but actually I didn’t get sick beyond. The mental stress of having just consumed an entire family of slimy. Chunky mold spores and rotten cream.

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