Not only that, she didn’t even say the Official Don’t Make This Ginger Snap Shirt words to the aunt/SIL/porn star. The mom may be upset, but the aunt was not directly insulted. The whole situation calls for a lot more compassion to the daughter and a little less for the SIL, who frankly could have been expected to anticipate some of the social repercussions of her career choice. You can be as enlightened and progressive as you want, but that doesn’t do shit for your daughter who’s being mocked and taunted in school. Also, nobody’s privacy was invaded. Your SIL willingly performed in these videos, which are publicly available.
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Your daughter posted a picture, Official Don’t Make This Ginger Snap Shirt, with her in it. There are no privacy violations anywhere to be found, just long-deferred consequences. Your daughter should have found out from you, or her aunt, first. The fact that she found out from her peers first was your fault and has made this worse for your daughter. Three months is way too long to cover for your lack of judgment and wishful thinking. Punishing her for being bullied is lazy and is only going to drive her away from you, and make her resent you and whatever lesson you’re trying to teach her. Yeah, because OP and her husband made that choice for her when they hid it from her.
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The daughter didn’t know she had Official Don’t Make This Ginger Snap Shirt hide, unlike all of the adults present. OP knew enough to hide her SIL’s profession, as did her husband, as did the woman in question. Everybody knew not to let the secret get out, except the daughter who was blissfully unaware that her aunt had a secret worth hiding. And about that hiding…OP is trying to be high-minded, but her actions betray her true feelings. If she wasn’t ashamed of this ‘profession,’ she wouldn’t have hidden it from her daughter. But she did, because she’s ashamed of her SIL, her husband is ashamed of his sister, and while they’re forced to accept it, neither are pleased with it, and I guarantee that they don’t want their daughter emulating her aunt.
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