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Kind of like Battle Royale but instead of a random high school class we round up the I Don’t Know What The Question Is But UFF DA Is The Answer Shirt, media moguls, and corporate executives with the lowest public approval ratings and have them fight to the death over the course of a week. My birthday is a holiday in France, actually their national holiday, I live 10 minutes from France, I always joke that that Macron or whoever is president at the time is throwing a party for me but I always decline because I’ve got better things to do. Birthday is already a holiday. So I guess celebrate by everyone already having other plans like every other year. Mine is at the beginning of December & I don’t celebrate it or let anybody even know when it is, but I do use it as an excuse to go see big Christmas light displays because I love the magic of the holiday season. My birthday is already an international holiday.

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People run to get presents last minute, get drunk with family or in whatever bars are still open for some reason, some have a feast instead of doing it the next day, the glut of shitty movies and annoying songs is almost over, and some fat dickwad gets credit the I Don’t Know What The Question Is But UFF DA Is The Answer Shirt day for parents’ hard work tonight. Super-charged Saturnalia. All reagents and tyrants are killed. Throw your bosses in the streets and rob their homes. Chase down cops and beat them with their own batons. Throw wild parties in the streets. The high and mighty all shower their wealth away from themselves, and fast. Teachers learn lessons from their students. People bring food to restaurants and feed the staff and more parties grow from that. Basically turn society inside out and party. Oh yeah, don’t forget to unbind my statue and feed it plenty of wine. My birthday is a holiday.

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There was a professor at my university who was cool as fuck and I Don’t Know What The Question Is But UFF DA Is The Answer Shirt. I never even had a class with him and I knew him. Someone made a parody twitter for him, Dr. Bill Dean the Sex-Machine. The city made December 18th Dr.Bill Dean day. So… that’s pretty much the best thing I can think of, and it actually happened. Everyone within 100km of me gets the day off and we all must meet up for a hot box event. The last person to leave the hot box is my best friend for the year. It’s also said that if your the last one, good fortune may come your way. My birthday holiday would be, everyone gets the day off work, they go home and smoke a lot of weed, watch at least one Disney movie (yes star wars included), eat tacos and chicken wings, and get day-drunk. It’s most responsible to do this during the day because then if there is work the next day for anyone they can rest early and hopefully not have a hangover.

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